Wedding Presents

“Giving A Shower” | A Display of Presents | Acknowledging Presents | Sending Presents | Presents for the Bridegroom | Exchanging Presents | Letters of Thanks | The Returned Gift

For persons with a large circle of friends, wedding presents may become something of a tax, but everyone naturally wishes to reciprocate the courtesy of an invitation by sending the bride a gift. The cost will depend on the circumstances of the donor, and the degree of intimacy. If the engagement is a short one, close friends often forward gifts as soon as the announcement is made, but the majority send presents when accepting or declining the invitation.

“GIVING A SHOWER”

In America there is a pleasant custom called "giving a shower" for the bride-to-be, by her friends. One friend gives a tea party and asks everyone to bring something for say a "kitchen shower". Each friend brings some useful thing to stock a kitchen.

This is a custom which might well be cultivated here, being available to everyone's purse, most helpful to the bride, and capable of many variations.

Glassware, table silver, china, cutlery and household linen, and such books as Mrs. Beeton's Household Management, all offer a wide variety for the choice of wedding gifts. Glassware and china being fragile, the bride should aim to have two sets of each—one for everyday and one for best. If a gift set is particularly good it should be kept for best, and the bridal couple can buy a cheap set for daily use, or if they are lucky enough to receive two sets they can keep the better set in reserve.

The bride is often given an opportunity nowadays of choosing her own pattern or design, or even of selecting the present.

In such instances she should take care to choose an article which the donor can afford to buy. Indeed, some couples now make a list of articles they would like and show it to friends who wish to give a present. This certainly prevents any irritating duplication of gifts.

If the prospective bride has a say in the choice of pattern, she should be careful to select one that can be easily replaced or added to.

DISPLAY OF PRESENTS

Either a day or two before the ceremony, at home, or at the reception, the presents should be attractively displayed, with cards attached. If displayed before the ceremony, intimate friends are invited to view them at tea.

If a large number of wedding gifts are received, a room or rooms should be set aside for their display. The gifts should be laid out on card or trestle tables, covered with tablecloths, and placed around the sides and down the centre of the room.

Gifts should be grouped together—silverware, china, glassware, cooking vessels, trays, linen, etc., each on a separate table.

Where gifts are duplicated, or vary in quality, they should not be put together.

In some cases a list of presents is displayed at the reception (in which case the bride must be most careful to list all presents on arrival in order that none should be omitted from the reception list). The list is displayed in place of the gifts themselves.

Cheques should not be displayed, nor should the amount be disclosed.

ACKNOWLEDGING PRESENTS

It is advisable to write a note of thanks for wedding gifts as soon as possible after receipt:

"Thank you so much for the lovely present you sent me". If a large number of gifts are received, the bride-to-be sends out a printed card thanking the donor, and promising to write as soon as possible.  She may then reply individually at her leisure after the honeymoon.

The note of acknowledgment should be written with care: the bride must remember that the friends who have sent her wedding gifts have made real sacrifices, and in thanking them she should try to say how their particular gift will fit into her home.

If the number of gifts received is very considerable, the bride's mother may assist in drafting the replies.

SENDING PRESENTS

It is not necessary to send a gift if a reception invitation is declined, but if accepted, it is customary to send a gift.

If invited to the wedding only, the* guest is not expected to send a gift—though there is nothing to prevent him from doing so, if he wishes.

Gifts should be addressed to the bride before the ceremony, and to the bride and bridegroom jointly afterwards. A wedding present should not be sent until the wedding date has been announced.

PRESENTS FOR THE BRIDEGROOM

Presents intended for the bridegroom should be sent to him direct. (They should be displayed with the other presents on the wedding day.) Actually, the bridegroom seldom receives any presents!

Table-linen should not be given by friends, only by rela­tives. Cheques, likewise, should only be given by old family friends or relatives. However, if the donor is quite unable to decide on a suitable gift, he or she may give a cheque.

Everyone who sends a present must be invited to theceremony.

EXCHANGING PRESENTS

The bride must be careful about changing presents chosen for her. Fortunately, people are beginning to realize that it is unreasonable for the bride to have to keep a dozen pepper pots, when she has no salt-cellar.    Friends should not object to the bride exchanging their present, unless it has been chosen specially.

The bride should not exchange presents given by her own or the bridegroom's family.

LETTER OF THANKS
(Formal)
Dear Mr. Gold,

Thank you so much for sending us such a lovely tea-set. Tedand I are looking forward to seeing you on the 16th.
Yours sincerely,
Jean Adams

(Intimate)

Dear Freda,

Ted and I wish to thank you very much for your wonderful present.
Do come on Friday at tea-time (usual time) to view the presents.
Thanking you again, and with love from us both.
Affectionately,
Jean

THE EXCHANGED GIFT

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Thank you so much for that lovely condiment set. I must tell you what happened, however, and hope you will approve.
We found that we had three condiment sets, but no set of tea spoons, so we took the liberty of exchanging your gift for a dozen beautiful tea spoons.
Ted and I send our grateful thanks, and hope that you will visit us soon.
Yours sincerely,
Jean

Are You Ready To Move Onto The Next Lesson? Click Here….