A Church Wedding

The Church of England Ceremony | Arriving at the Church | The Processional | The Ceremony | At the Altar | Proceeding to the Vestry | The Recessional
| decorations | The Awning | The Carpet | The Marriage Certificate | The Clergyman’s Fee | The Organist’s and Verger’s Fees | Receiving at the Back of the Church | The Wedding Rehearsal | Wedding Music | The Order of Service Sheet | Cars | The Wedding Budget | The Widow’s Wedding | The Divorcee’s Wedding | Where the Bride groom’s Parents are Divorced | What to Wear at the Wedding

Provided that there is no other valid objection, a clergyman of the Church of England must marry a couple on any day of the week they wish, including Sunday and Good Friday. The law is vague on this matter. It is as well always to discuss the matter with the vicar.

There are very strict ecclesiastical rules against the remar­riage of those who have a partner living.

The clergyman must be satisfied as to the legality of the marriage, and if he is not satisfied he may refuse to perform the ceremony.

The bride is given away by her father, or by someone who takes his place. The duty can be undertaken by the bride's mother, though a male relative is usually selected.

The marriage service from the "Prayer Book as proposed in 1928" is widely used for marriages in the Church of England. This omits the bride's promise to obey. The vows and undertakings of the bride and bridegroom are identical. The clergyman can only use this service with the agreement of the bride and bridegroom. They on their side cannot insist upon its use: they can only express a wish for it.

If the parties concerned have a clergyman friend and they wish him to perform the ceremony they should write a courteous letter to the vicar of the parish asking his permis­sion. The vicar of the parish is always entitled to the fee.

Punctuality is essential for everyone who attends the wedding. It is unpardonable to keep the clergyman, organist, choir and guests waiting.

The guests should arrive about twenty minutes before the ceremony commences. A few minutes later the bridesmaids should wait at the church entrance for the bride, and they should be lined up in the order in which they are to proceed up the nave.

FORMATION  OF THE BRIDAL PROCESSION

W.E. - E

The bridegroom arrives with the best man half an hour before the bride, and they proceed to the entrance to the chancel where they await the bride. The best man stands on the right of the bridegroom, slightly behind him.

The bride arrives last of all, with her father. She takes his right arm and walks up the nave, followed by her brides­maids. On reaching the bridegroom at the chancel steps, the bride stands on his left, her father standing a little to the rear on her left.

As it is so important that every participant should under­stand his or her role perfectly, we will examine the whole ceremony in detail.

It can be divided into Processional, the Ceremony proper, and the Recessional.

THE PROCESSIONAL

As the organist begins playing appropriate music on the organ, the bridal procession starts down the nave from the vestibule on the first beat, each member starting off on the left foot.

First comes the bride, on her father's right arm, followed by the bridesmaids. The chief bridesmaid is on the left of the first pair. The clergyman and choir may walk down the nave towards the bridal procession, and then precede it.

The bride's father should keep to the left side of the nave passage, in order that his daughter may be in the centre. When he arrives at the front pew, he should move slightly to the left, in order that she may be directly in front of the priest's right hand, with the groom opposite his left hand. On reaching the chancel steps, where the bridegroom is waiting, he stands on the bride's left.

The groom turns to welcome the bride as she advances towards him. (Some bridegrooms remain with their backs to their bride, owing to nervousness!) The bride drops her father's arm, and he steps back while she hands her bouquet to the chief bridesmaid, thus leaving her right hand free.

The bridesmaids divide into pairs, and stand behind the bride and bridegroom. They remain standing throughout the ceremony. The chief bridesmaid takes up her position just behind the bride.

THE CEREMONY

The bride and bridegroom are standing in front of the clergyman, who is standing at the entrance to the chancel. The bride's father is on her left, slightly behind her, and the best man is on the right of the groom. The chief bridesmaid is just behind the bride. Behind her are the other bridesmaids.

AT THE ALTAR

The Church of England ceremony consists of the betrothal, the marriage ceremony and the final prayers and blessing. At the end of the betrothal the clergyman asks "Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?"

The bride's father then takes the bride's right hand and passes it to the clergyman. When he passes the bride's hand, he raises it, so that the palm is downward. When the bridegroom receives the bride's hand from the officiating clergyman he takes it in his outstretched palm. The bride should be prepared for her father to take her hand at the required moment making sure her glove is off. The bride and bridegroom then say the vows to one another, prompted by the clergyman.

GROUPING  FOR THE BETROTHAL AND ACTUAL MARRIAGE

After the bride's father has given her away, he may turn and go to the first pew and stand beside his wife for the rest of the ceremony or he may remain standing in his old position.

The best man must be ready with the wedding ring, in order that he can hand it to the clergyman at the appropriate moment. The clergyman blesses the ring, and then hands it to the bridegroom who slips it on the third finger of the bride's left hand.

Bride and bridegroom may be comforted by the thought that they need not learn anything by heart. They should read over the service beforehand having asked the vicar or the verger whether the old or the new service is in use in the particular church.

GRUPING AFTER THE ACTUAL MARRIAGE AND DURING THE FINAL PRAEYRS SAID AT THE ALTAR

In countries where the bridegroom also has a ring, the chief bridesmaid hands it to the bride when the best man gives the ring to the groom. As soon as she has received her own ring the bride slips the groom's ring on his hand.

After having handed the ring over, the best man may sit in the nearest pew, until it is time for him to join the bride and bridegroom in the vestry.
When kneeling, the bridegroom should assist the bride by placing his hand under her elbow, and he should do the same on rising. Both should kneel fairly upright.

The bride and bridegroom follow the priest to the altar and the clergyman turns and faces them for the final prayers. He may deliver an address at their conclusion or he may do so earlier after the actual marriage.

PROCEEDING TO THE VESTRY

Immediately after the marriage ceremony, the bride and bridegroom, together with their intimate friends and relatives proceed to the vestry to sign the church register and receive a certified copy of the entry in the register. The correct order should be: clergyman, bride and bridegroom, parents (cross paired), best man and chief bridesmaid, relatives and close friends. The bridesmaids generally take part in the procession to the vestry. The verger should be consulted regarding this.

The bride must remember to sign her maiden name.

It should be arranged beforehand who are to sign as witnesses.

THE RECESSIONAL

The signing being completed, the bride takes the left arm of the bridegroom, and together they pass down the nave, to the strains of a wedding march, followed by the chief bridesmaid, the other bridesmaids, and lasdy, the parents. (The best man will have gone to summon the bridal car). In proceeding down to the church door, the bride and bridegroom may acknowledge friends as they pass by, but should not speak.

At the church door, the bridegroom's car should be waiting, and, assisted by the best man, the couple take their seats and are driven back to the house as quickly as possible, so that they may be in time to greet their guests and friends as they arrive.

Following the bridal car, the remainder of the party drive off in sequence—bride's mother and bridegroom's father, bridegroom's mother and bride's father, the bridesmaids, other relatives and friends, and last of all, the best man.

It is quite optional whether the bride's parents provide cars for the guests. Usually the guests provide their own. However, the person providing the wedding entertainment must provide the cars to take the bride, bridesmaids and any relatives or guests staying at his or her house, to and from the wedding. (The bride, of course, departs in the groom's car.) He or she, is also responsible for the flowers in the church, the awning (if used), and the wedding cake.

Guests in the body of the church should be careful not to leave before all the guests in the reserved sections have departed.

Confetti should not be thrown within the church precincts. There is much to be said for the substitutes.

THE PROCESION TO THE VESTRY

DECORATIONS

The church may be decorated, but any extravagance would be in bad taste. The decorations are usually in white and green. Any white flowers may be used—roses, lilies, gladioli, carnations, chrysanthemums and daisies, for example. Green decorations may be provided by ferns and evergreens.

The simplest decorations consist of a few vases of flowers on the altar, pulpit or table, with bunches of flowers on the two pews indicating the end of the reserved sections. The flowers can either be supplied from home, or a good florist can be commissioned to handle all the decorations.

The clergyman should be consulted in all cases, and before any arrangements are made.

GRUPPING FOR THE RECESSIONAL

THE AWNING

The awning is a protection against bad weather, and it is also an aid to privacy. It may be striped or plain, and is usually carpeted inside. It usually reaches from the curb to the door of the church.

THE  CARPET

A carpet in the nave passage keeps the bridal train and the gowns of the bridesmaids clean. It extends from the point where the ceremony is to take place, right down the nave passage.

It is not necessary to take up the carpet after the wedding ceremony, and the guests walk out on it after the bridal party.

THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE

The marriage certificate is simply a copy of the entry in the church register. The usual fee is 3s. yd. The fee for a certificate of banns read in the parish in which the wedding does not take place varies according to local custom.

THE CLERGYMAN'S FEE

The usual fee at a church wedding ranges from £I Is. to £5 5s. It might be less, and for a society wedding it might be considerably more.

The best man gives the fee either to the clergyman or verger on behalf of the groom.

The best time to do this is at a convenient moment in the vestry, during the signing of the church register.

THE ORGANIST'S AND VERGER'S FEES

Both these fees are paid by the bridegroom. The organist's fee varies considerably—and ranges from 25s.or less, to £3 3s.or more.

The verger's fee is sometimes fixed, but more often not. If not stipulated, the bridegroom should take into considera­tion the amount of decoration in the church. The verger's fee ranges from ios to £i is.

The verger is usually familiar with the amounts which should be paid, and if he is a capable man he will pay every­body. If the clergyman is given something beyond the usual fee this should be handed to him in an envelope.

RECEIVING AT THE BACK OF THE CHURCH

The bride and bridegroom may receive their wedding guests at the back of the church, if they do not intend to have a reception. The receiving line for a church reception is the same as for the ordinary reception.

Permission of the clergy­man must be obtained. Difficulty might be experienced about permitting this, e.g. when another wedding is to follow shortly afterwards.

THE WEDDING REHEARSAL

It is advisable to rehearse the wedding ceremony, whether the wedding is to be elaborate or not. Some person should be appointed to attend to the bridal procession both at the rehearsal and at the church ceremony.

For a big wedding the rehearsal should take place in the church, while for a smaller wedding, the rehearsal could take place at the bride's home. The bride should be careful to choose a time that will suit the convenience of the majority of her attendants.

The bride and bridegroom, bride's father, best man and bridesmaids should know exactly what is expected of them.

The bride and bridegroom should study the marriage service jointly, in order to familiarize themselves thoroughly with the responses. This should cause them no anxiety.

Following the rehearsal, refreshments are usually served at the bride's home.

WEDDING MUSIC

An appointment should be made through the verger, with the organist.    The bride selects the wedding march, hymns and songs with his help. The choir and bells are discussed at the same time.

As has been stated, the fee for the organist varies. A full choir would cost at least five guineas.

Wedding bells to peal twenty minutes before and perhaps thirty minutes after the ceremony would be at least three guineas.

All fees can be paid in advance or in the vestry after the service.

While the guests are arriving, the organ should be playing soft music, and should continue to play until the last guest has left. On the arrival of the bride the organist plays wedding music as she walks up the nave, and again during the recessional. Devotional music may be played during the church service.

A soloist may be engaged to sing, with the consent of the authorities.

THE ORDER OF SERVICE SHEET

A leaflet is sometimes printed, giving the Order of Service —the Hymns, Psalms and versicles, in the responses of which the congregation should join. The first page contains the names or initials of the bride and bridegroom, the name of the church, and the date of the ceremony. It is advisable to consult the clergyman about the Service Paper at an early stage.

CARS

The cars for the wedding are decorated with satin streamers, and the driver wears a white buttonhole. The cost of hire is twenty-five shillings or more per car.

THE WEDDING BUDGET

For a formal church wedding, followed by a reception at home, the budget might be as follows:
£ s. d.
Bridal ensemble                                               25   0   0
Trousseau                                                       75   0   0
Florist                                                             10   0   0
Invitations                                                        3   0   0
Bridesmaids Gifts                                             5   0   0
Reception (including wine, etc.)                        30   0   0
Music                                                               6   6   0
Bride's cake                                                      8   8   0
Photos, etc                                                        8   8   0
Carriages                                                          5   0   0

THE WIDOW'S WEDDING

A widow does not generally wear the orthodox bridal attire, with coronal of orange blossom and veil.

A widow does not have bridesmaids, but she may be accompanied by an intimate friend who acts as "dame of honour", or lady-in-waiting. This lady holds the bride's gloves and bouquet during the ceremony. The bridegroom gives her a present and a bouquet, as at first weddings.

The "dame of honour" is expected to arrive at the church early and to wait in one of the seats near the chancel until the arrival of the bride, when she takes her place beside her, standing slightly to the left.

The wedding of a widow is altogether a simple, unosten­tatious affair, and although the wedding cake and the wedding presents are there, no elaborate floral decorations or wedding favours appear.

The ceremony may take place in a church, chapel or register office. If desired it may be followed by a reception.

If the bride is young, a white dress and hat may be worn, but a wedding gown, veil and bouquet are not usual. The colours most often selected are lilac, mauve or smoke-grey.
Although the widow does not have bridesmaids and pages, if she has a grown-up daughter, the daughter may act as her attendant. The bride's father, or some other relative, may give her away, but this is not necessary.

The widow must remove her former ring on the morning of her second marriage. She should not wear it again unless her second husband gives his assent. If this permission is forthcoming, the first ring should be worn on the same finger of the left hand, above the new ring.

If the widow so desires, she may invite relatives of her first husband to her wedding, but she should bear in mind that only a few guests should be invited. She may also have a bride cake.

THE DIVORCEE'S WEDDING

The etiquette governing a divorcee's wedding is the same as that applying to a widow's wedding.

As the status of the bride determines the nature of the wedding, the widower or divorce* is not affected by these restrictions. Nowadays, a widow or divorcee will often make her own arrangements, and issue an invitation jointly with her bridegroom.

According to ecclesiastical rules, Anglican incumbents are not allowed to remarry in their churches divorced persons who have a former partner still living.

WHERE THE BRIDEGROOM'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED

The bridegroom's mother sits in the front pew. The bridegroom's father sits in the third pew.

At the reception, the bridegroom's mother stands near the bride's mother, and also receives. The bridegroom's father, and perhaps his second wife, also attend the reception (but see page 25).

WHAT TO WEAR AT THE WEDDING

The bride decides what kind of a wedding it is to be, anddresses accordingly. If the wedding is to be a formal one, guests should be notified of this, and the men must then wear morning coats and black trousers. If the wedding is semi-formal, the appropriate dress is a black coat and striped trousers. For the informal wedding, a dark blue suit could be worn. When in doubt, it is safest to wear a black coat and striped trousers.

The woman guest should wear an afternoon dress with hat and gloves

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