electing the Best man | The Church Wedding | Duties of the Bridegroom | Bridegroom’s Expenses | Duties of the Groomsmen | The Head Usher

In choosing the best man, the bridal couple should select a man who is a good mixer, attentive to details, and a willing worker. He should also be a bachelor. The best man has a number of important duties to perform, and he must see that nothing has been forgotten.

If it is a church wedding he will leave the bride and bride­groom to make the necessary arrangements with the vestry clerk and the organist. They will discover what fees should be paid and arrange with the best man to pay them either before or after the service. It is convenient for all concerned if the fees are paid in actual money. The organist should be con­sulted rather than ordered to play particular items of music.

The best man hires the car that is to bring the bridegroom to the church, also the car to take the newly-married couple off on their honeymoon. If the bride's father does not wish to attend to it himself, the best man books the cars to take the wedding party to and from the church.

He assists the bridegroom with his clothes, goes with him to the tailor's, and probably also buys various articles of clothing for the honeymoon, as well as the presents for the bridesmaids.

The day before the ceremony, the best man calls on the bridegroom, and checks over with him that nothing important has been overlooked, and that all the necessary documents have been obtained.

On the day of the wedding, the best man calls on the bridegroom, helps him to dress, and then goes with him to the church. He makes sure that they both arrive half an hour before the ceremony begins. He arranges for the groom's hat and coat (together with his own) to be taken to the vestry before the ceremony. He walks with the groom through the door leading into the church to the chancel, where they both await the bride's entrance at the end of the nave. He may take the groom's gloves and place them in his pocket, and he produces the ring when the clergyman asks for it.

After the service, when the bridal couple proceed to the vestry, the best man offers his arm to the chief bridesmaid, and they follow the bridal couple and their parents to the vestry, where the best man may sign the register if invited to do so. The signing of the register is a delicate matter.

The best man then goes to the porch and sees that the members of the party drive off in the correct sequence. He pays the clergyman, choirmaster, organist and bellringer, on behalf of the groom. (See Chapter 8). Finally, he leaves for the reception himself.

The best man acts as toastmaster at the reception. He usually replies to the toast to the health of the bridesmaids. He may be called on to read out telegrams of congratulation, after the speeches have been made. (In this case he must remember to keep the telegrams, in order that the bride can acknowledge them later.)

He must see that the groom is ready when it is time for the bridal couple to depart on their honeymoon. He may help the groom to change into his travelling clothes. If the bride and groom are going away, the best man produces train, boat or 'plane reservations. He makes sure that the car and baggage are ready and that the bride is ready to go. Finally, he goes with the bride and bridegroom to the railway station, and sees them off.

Although not a part of his duties, the best man often goes with the bridegroom to the church or register office, to announce the impending marriage. He then makes sure that the bridegroom supplies all the necessary information, and that he makes the right kind of arrangements.
He also watches the invitations, and sometimes helps the bride's mother to send them off.

He usually meets the bride's family at dinner the evening before the wedding—if he has not already done so.

DUTIES  OF THE BRIDEGROOM

The bridegroom has a much easier time than the best man!

It is his duty to provide the wedding ring and the bouquet for the bride. If gifts are to be exchanged, the bridegroom will also buy a piece of jewellery for the bride. The bride­groom gives bouquets to the bridesmaids, together with a small present—usually a piece of jewellery. He presents his future mother-in-law with a bouquet, or provides corsages for both his mother and the bride's mother.

He pays for the music, choir and bells, but leaves the arrangement of these matters to the bride. He can ascertain the amount and number of the fees from the verger. He pays the fee to the clergyman, which is placed in an envelope and handed over before or after the ceremony by the best man. He pays the fee for the marriage licence if the marriage is to be by licence. He pays all the expenses of the honey­moon. He is responsible for the furnishing of the new home, although relatives will usually help him here, with gifts of furniture, linen, glassware, etc.

He usually presents his ushers with cuff-links, gold pencils, cigarette cases, etc. A more handsome present is given to the best man.

He is expected to provide the car in which he and his best man drive to church, and in which he and his bride drive from the church to the place of reception, and from there to the station.

Accompanied by his best man, the bridegroom must arrive at the church in good time to await the arrival of the bride.

BRIDEGROOM’S EXPENSES

These vary according to his financial position:
                                                               &   s.  d.
Engagement Ring                        from      6    0    0             
Wedding Ring                                           2    2    0
Gift to Bride                                              2    2    0
Bridal Bouquet                                          2    2    0
Mothers Bouquets                                     1    1    0
Bridemaids Bouquets                                1    1    0
                       
CHURCH OF REGISTER OFFICE FEES:

There is a slight variation in church fees but the following table should help:

                                                                &   s.  d.
Clergyman’s Fee                         from      1    1    0             
Clergyman’s Gratuity, optional and
not necessary                                                   ?   
Choir Fee                                                3    3    0
Bellringers’ Fee for Peal                           3    3    0
Organist’s Fee                                         1    1     0
Verger’s Fee (this is important)                0   10    0
Total fees in register Office                       3    6    9

In Roman Catholic and Nonconformist Churches the fees vary. It is unusual to have a choir, and a ring of bells is almost unknown. Information can always be obtained in the particular church before the wedding.

The groom should always made a careful budget of expenses and adhere to it. Although his expenses (excluding the home) are generally less then the bride’s, they can easily mount far above calculations.

DUTIES OF THE GROOMSMEN

The bridal couple should arrange for several young men friends to act as ushers at the ceremony, and to guide the guests to their seats. If possible, they should attend the rehearsal, where they should be given careful instructions regarding their duties.

The ushers should be at the church an hour before the ceremony commences. They should line themselves on the left of the door inside the church, and be ready to instruct friends and relatives of the bride and bridegroom to their allotted seats. If the wedding service has been printed on a leaflet, as is often the case, the ushers hand a copy to each guest.

Occasionally these service papers are placed in the pews. This can be a matter of arrangement.

The groomsman asks each guest if he or she is "a friend of the bride or the groom". He conducts friends of the bride to the left-hand seats of the church and friends of the groom to the right. The guest should mention if he or she has been invited to sit in the reserved section. (Front seats are always reserved for relatives and intimate friends of the bride and bridegroom.)

In the case of fashionable weddings, the names of the people who are to sit in the reserved section are listed on cards and given to the ushers. At fashionable weddings, too, the reserved seats may be marked off by a red cord which ropes off a part of the nave passage.

The head usher escorts the bride's mother to the seat of the front left-hand pew. She is accompanied by members of her family, who are not taking part in the procession. The bridegroom's family are escorted to the front pew on the right side of the church.

THE HEAD USHER

The usher who takes the bride's mother up the aisle is known as the " head usher". Sometimes he is appointed to see that the other ushers dress correctly, arrive on time, and so on.

Ushers may converse with guests in a low voice. They must be fairly quick, but they must remember that they are in church.

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