The Wedding Invitation and Announcement

May the Bridegroom Give the Wedding? | A Typical Wedding Invitation Card | The Reception Card | Combined Ceremony and Reception Card | Invitation to Reception Only | Invitation to reception at House and Friend | Invitation to a Double Wedding | Step-Parents | Where the Bride’s Parents are Divorced | The Relative’s Invitation | Replies to Invitations | Congratulations | The Second marriage | recalling Wedding Invitations | Wedding Announcements | The Widow’s Announcement | Should a Divorcee’s remarriage be Announced ?

Invitations to the wedding should be sent out three weeks before the ceremony takes place. They should be sent to all relatives and intimate friends, whether or not they will be able to attend the wedding. This gives guests sufficient time to make arrangements to be present, and the bridal couple still have a reasonable period in which to notify the inevitable "omissions ".

After the bride and bridegroom have compiled their separate lists, it is customary for the bride's mother to send out the invitation cards. As the costs of the wedding will be met mainly by the bride's family, they should have the final decision regarding the number of persons to be invited, and the other arrangements. The invitations should all be posted on the same day. The engagement list will be found useful in compiling the invitation list.

The invitation should be engraved on a double sheet of white or cream letter paper, 7X4} in., in script. A good stationer should always be consulted. Wedding invitations are always drafted in the third person. A brief personal note should be enclosed, to relatives and close friends.

If the wedding does not take place from the home of the bride's parents, the invitations should be sent out in the name of the host and hostess, who may be, perhaps, a brother and sister-in-law of the bride, or a close friend.

MAY THE BRIDEGROOM GIVE THE WEDDING?

In the majority of cases, the answer is "No". The ruling is that the reception must be at the home of the bride's parents, or other relative, or in a hall or rooms hired by the

bride's family. The groom's family may provide entertain­ments for the couple after they are married, but not the reception meal.
However, if the bride has no family, it would be correct for her to go to the house of the bridegroom's parents for the wedding breakfast or reception.

If daughters are to be included, their names should be set out fully below their parents. Sons should receive separate invitations. The term " and Family " should not be used.

A TYPICAL WEDDING  INVITATION CARD

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of
your company at the marriage of
their daughter
Kathleen
with Mr. George Smith
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. 18, Poll Hill,
Leyden Bush.                             R.S.V.P.

THE RECEPTION CARD

If a large reception is being held, a separate reception card should be sent, worded as follows:
Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of your company
on Tuesday, February 20
at 3 o'clock at 18, Poll Hill, Leyden Bush.

The reception card should match the church invitation, but should be smaller in size.

Cards similar to the above, except that they contain blank spaces in which the names of the guests can be written may be also used. They are more personal.

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones request the pleasure of
—       —       —    's
company at the marriage of
their daughter
Kathleen
with Mr. George Smith
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. 18. Poll Hill
Leyden Bush.                            R.S.V.P.

The reception card in this case would read:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of
—   —    —    's company
on Tuesday, February 20th
at 3 o'clock at 18, Poll Hill, Leyden Bush.
R.S.V.P.

Whereas wedding invitations are mostly worded on the lines of the first example, reception invitations usually have the name of the guest written in.

COMBINED CEREMONY AND RECEPTION  INVITATION

If the guests are to be invited both to the church ceremony and the reception, as is often the case, a combined invitation may be used.
Such an invitation might be worded:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of
your company at the marriage of
their daughter
Kathleen
with Mr. George Smith
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. and afterwards at 18. Poll Hill. Leyden Bush. R.S.V.P.

INVITATION TO RECEPTION ONLY

The bride may prefer to have a big reception, but have members of her family and her future husband's family only at the ceremony.
The reception invitation would read:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of their daughter
Kathleen
and
Mr. George Smith
at 18, Poll Hill, Leyden Bush
on Tuesday, February 20th
at 3 o'clock. R.S.V.P.

INVITATION TO RECEPTION AT THE HOUSE OF A FRIEND

If the reception is to take place at the home of a relative or friend, the invitation would read:
Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of your company
at the reception to follow the marriage of
their daughter Kathleen with Mr. George Smith
at the home of
Mr. and Mrs. James Humphries
18, Greenley Place, Pimlico
Tuesday, February 20th
at 3 o'clock. 18, Poll Hill,
Leyden Bush.                             R.S.V.P.

INVITATION TO A DOUBLE WEDDING

In the event of a double wedding taking place, the invitation would read:
Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of
your company at the marriage of
their daughters
Kathleen
with Mr. George Smith
and
Eileen
with
Mr. Henry Adams
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. 18, Poll Hill,
Leyden Bush.                            R.S.V.P.

The name of the elder daughter appears first. The reception card would be the same as for one bride.
If two girls who are not sisters decide to have a double wedding, their surnames must be included in the invitation:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
and Mr. and Mrs. Hector Wood
request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of
their daughters Kathleen Jones
with Mr. George Smith
and Norma Wood
with Mr. Stephen Mclean
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. 18, Poll Hill,
Leyden Bush.                             R.S.V.P.

The reception card in this case would be worded:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
and
Mr. and Mrs. Hector Wood
request the pleasure of your company
on Tuesday, February 20th
at 3 o'clock at
RSVP        18, Poll Hill, Leyden Bush

The surnames of the brides should always be included, lest some person should assume that the parents are divorced.

STEP-PARENTS

The usual form of wedding invitation may be used in the case of a step-mother, and the names will be exactly the same. Alternatively, the invitation can be worded:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of
your company at the marriage of
Mr. Jones's daughter
Kathleen
with Mr. George Smith
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. 18, Poll Hill,
Leyden Bush.                            R.S.V.P.

There would be no variation in the wording of the recep­tion card.

Again in the case of a step-father, the usual wedding invitation may be issued, but an alternative form, making the relationship quite clear, may be used:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of
your company at the marriage of
Mrs. Jones's daughter
Kathleen Hutchinson
with Mr. George Smith
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. 18, Poll Hill,
Leyden Bush.                             R.S.V.P.

WHERE THE BRIDE'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED

It is impossible to lay down any hard and fast rules in cases where the bride's parents are divorced. So much depends on circumstances. Normally, if the bride lives with her mother, the mother issues the invitations. If she lives with her father, he issues them.  Again, she may live with neither parent, or she may spend part of her time with each in turn.

Very often both parents will arrange to meet at the wed­ding. However, this would not be advisable when both parents have married again. As the happiness of the bride and bridegroom is of paramount importance at a wedding, where there is bitterness between divorced parents which might manifest itself in a distressing manner at the wedding, it may be better that only one should be present. A special visit shortly before or after the wedding to the other may well be a happier solution for all concerned.

If the daughter is living with her father, and he has married again, he may issue the invitation individually, but the recep­tion invitation will have to be issued by him and his wife.

Should the mother have married again, and the daughter is living with her, the mother may issue the wedding invita­tions, but in this case the daughter's surname should be given, as it will be different from her mother's. The reception invitations will be issued by the bride's mother and step-father.

If the wedding is given by the father, the bride's own mother should be given the first pew. If the mother is giving the wedding, the bride's own father should give her away.

Generally speaking, the invitations should be sent out by the bride's mother. There are two reasons for this, firstly, that the father takes the same role, whoever gives the wedding and secondly, that it is better for a man to appear in his ex-wife's house than vice versa.

THE RELATIVE'S INVITATION

If both parents are dead, the wedding invitation may be issued by a relative, e.g.:
Mr. and Mrs. Norman Hodge
request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of
their niece Kathleen Jones
with Mr. George Smith
at
St. John's Church, Leyden Bush on Tuesday, February 20th
at 2.30 p.m. 6, Mead way,
Leyden Bush.    R.S.V.P.

THE INFORMAL WEDDING INVITATION

In the case of a very small wedding, or one following a death in the family, engraved invitations would be replaced by a short note sent by the mother of the bride to members of the two families and one or two intimate friends:

Dear Mrs. Martin,

My daughter Kathleen is to be married on Tuesday, February 20th, to Mr. George Smith. Because of the recent death of George's brother, only a few intimate friends will be present. May we ask you and Mr. Martin to give us the pleasure of your company ?
The ceremony takes place at 2.30 p.m., at St. John's Church. We hope you will be able to come back with us to tea at 3.30 p.m.

Yours sincerely,
Bertha Jones

REPLIES TO  INVITATIONS

Recipients of wedding invitations should reply to the bride's parents within two or three days. Their replies should be drafted in the third person, and worded as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. Martin have much pleasure in accepting the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Jones to attend the wedding of their daughter on Tuesday, February 20th, at St. John's Church and afterwards at 18, Poll Hill.

In the case of an informal invitation, the reply would read:

Dear Mrs. Jones,

We are delighted to accept your kind invitation to the marriage of your daughter to Mr. George Smith on Tuesday and to have tea with you afterwards.

Yours sincerely,

If an invitation must be declined, the reply would read " regret" or " very much regret", but in this case no reference need be made to the hour and day of the ceremony, e.g.:

Mr. and Mrs. Martin much regret that they are unable to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Jones to attend their daughter's wedding and reception.

The number of acceptances very often equals the number of guests who do attend the ceremony. Expected guests fail to arrive, and unexpected guests do arrive, and the two cancel out.

CONGRATULATIONS

Letters of goodwill should be written in the first person, and addressed individually or jointly in suitable terms to the bride and bridegroom. A friendly note of this kind, wishing the bridal couple every happiness in their new life, would be sent by any guest who knows the bride or groom intimately.
The Cottage,
Marsden.
My Dear Barbara,

I am delighted to learn of your forthcoming marriage, and it is to wish you joy that I am writing this. The course of true love, in your case, will, I am sure, run very smoothly indeed. If it continues to flow as sweetly through your new life, you will be one of the most enviable of women, and I think it will, because I know your fiance1 to be a charming and straightforward man, while you—well, I shall only say you are as worthy of his devotion as he is of yours. You may be certain that you have well-wishers in all directions, not only among your friends, but in a host of young and old acquaintances. You will be sorely missed, my dear Barbara, but there is not one of your friends selfish enough to wish you any other than your present lot. Much as we shall regret your absence, we are delighted that you have such a fair prospect of happiness before you.
I won't add more now—except to wish you every happiness in your new life.

Ever sincerely yours, Florence

THE SECOND MARRIAGE

If a widow is young, the invitations to her wedding are sent out in the name of her parents, in exactly the same way as the invitations to her first wedding. In this case, however, her married name is added.

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of
their daughter Kathleen Montgomery
with Mr. George Smith
at St. John's Church, Leyden Bush
on Tuesday, February 20th at 2.30 p.m.

If the widow is not young, the invitations are issued by a friend, who also holds the reception.
Mr. and Mrs. Norman Dodds
request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of
Mrs. John Golding
and Mr. Frederick Warburton
at St. Paul's Church, Hartfield on Friday, August 12th
at noon
and afterwards at The Manor House, Hartfield
R.S.V.P.
A widow may send invitations to her wedding in her own name.    Such an invitation would be worded:

Mrs. John Golding requests the pleasure of your company
at St. Paul's Church, Hartfield
at
noon on
Friday, August 12th on the occasion of her marriage with
Mr. Frederick Warburton The Old Vicarage,
Hartfield.          R.S.V.P.

RECALLING WEDDING INVITATIONS

A sudden illness or death may make it necessary to recall wedding invitations. Guests should be notified immediately of the postponement.
Such a notice would be worded:

Owing to an accident to Mr. George Smith, Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones regret that they are obliged to cancel the invitations to their daughter's wedding on Tuesday, February 20th.

WEDDING  ANNOUNCEMENTS

Wedding announcements are sent only to persons who have not been invited to the ceremony. They should be engraved in a similar style to the wedding invitations, and worded as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Jones
announce the marriage of their daughter
Kathleen
with Mr. George Smith
at St. John's Church, Leyden Bush
on
Tuesday, February 20th One Thousand Nine Hundred and Sixty

While it is not essential that the year should be given in the wedding invitation, it must be given in the wedding announcement. The announcement may be worded " have pleasure in announcing ", " have the pleasure to announce ", or simply " announce ".

The wording varies in the same way as the invitation, in the case of divorced or step-parents.

Announcements are sent out in the name of the next of kin, whether present at the ceremony or not.

No return gift is necessary in the case of an announcement.

THE WIDOW'S ANNOUNCEMENT

Announcements of a young widow's wedding are worded as for a first wedding, except that the bride's married name is added.

The announcement of the marriage of a mature widow would read:

Mrs. Patricia Hamilton
and
Mr. Brian Davies have pleasure in announcing their marriage
on
Monday, July 1st
I960
at
Belperton Parish Church

SHOULD A DIVORCEE'S REMARRIAGE BE ANNOUNCED?

Invitations to and announcements of the remarriage of a divorcee should only be sent in exceptional circumstances.

If the bridegroom has been divorced, announcements and invitations may be sent in the usual way.

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